Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize