I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
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Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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