I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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