There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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