so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
false alarm, still single
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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