hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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