I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize