I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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