being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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