we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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