Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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