There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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