I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize