Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

go do what you do best...puke behind churches

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(850): View more from Florida

We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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(845): View more from New York

I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.

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(925): View more from California

This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.

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(702): View more from Nevada

you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

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(662): View more from Mississippi

If you ever get divorced...would you call me??

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