i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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