I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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