I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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