Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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