Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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