Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize