my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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