We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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