last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize