nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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