Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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