Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize