I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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