hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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