All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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