Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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