Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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