The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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