we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He has the fingertips of a God
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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