u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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