Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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