just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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