found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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