She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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