How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
Hypothermia
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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