i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize