I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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