dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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