my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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