I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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