Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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