I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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