i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
worst night to have a conscience
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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