I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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