a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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