I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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