people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
birth control should be required to get into college
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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