is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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